LaMe LiFe =P

why

2009-02-17T15:01:00.004+08:00

为什么有些人可以活得那么快了？

为什么有些人那么有钱？

为什么有些人没有烦恼？

是不是，知道得越少，人就越幸福呢？

我只知道，小孩子最没有烦恼。。。

因为他们什么都不知道。。。

ppl often tell me....

"its nt gd to noe 2 much"

"not everyone one is as fortunate as others"

"learn 2 appreciate wad u hav"

"dun need 2 envy them, cos u r more independent"

but...

is e truth really tt way?

i noe...

tt dere r ppl more unfortunate than me...

but,

dere is certainly more ppl way fortunate than me...

so...

where do i stand?

in e middle of nowhere...

lost...................

BAC =)

2009-01-31T01:30:00.005+08:00

Lol...

gdness...

its been a long time since i blog...

sry lar ppl...

as u all noe..

deb has always been lazy u noe...

anyway...

我回来了 =）

juz a pic 2 make u guys rmb wad i looked like..

N.. i DYED my hair !!! nice?

its a miracle tt i am makin big changes 2 my hair this yr ...

wondering wads wrong wif me....

am nt so me anymore -__-

e 低调 me is becoming more n more loud...

wanting e attention i guess....

tsk...

despise myself....

in anycase, 时间过得真快。。。
its been 2 wks since i bac le lor...

nevertheless...

its feels great 2 b able 2 breathe e fresh air...

2 walk on e streets of sg without fearing for e cars...

best of all...

e food tt i am eating these days

- chicken rice

- duck rice

- roti prata

- oyster omelette

- laksa

- nasi lemak

- home cooked food

- CNY goodies

Damn shiok lar...

deb loves 2 eat u noe...

even though my appetite shrink liao...

(i eat like a PIG in e past)

since i am like BLOODY FREE these days...

shall try 2 take more time 2 update my dusty blog...

tts all for nw =)

My hostel

2008-09-29T15:47:00.004+08:00

=)
let u guys hav a look at my rm...

this is e bed tt i slept on this few wks...
when first day slp hor...
damn HARD lor...
e pillow dey give so damn THIN..
i use as my bolster...
go buy another softer pillow (purple de)
now slowly getting use 2 it le...
nt so bad, but i still miss my bed =(

haha...
luckily hostel gt tv...
at first, thought i only can watch all China programmes nia..
will b vyr bored when in rm n hav nth 2 do...
but den..
find out tt is cable tv wor...
haha, gt ard 50+ channels 2 explore n watch...

hehe...
these food items is me n wenwen go stock up de...
but den...
all those milk stuff cannot eat/drink le, sadded...
waste my $$ lor...

this is my desk...
kinda messy =P

think i too bored...
nth better 2 do...
hahaz, take pic of my reflection tt day...

gt time will blog more de =)

China

2008-09-23T13:50:00.001+08:00

been missing for quite long...
so sry guys....
been busy wif earning $$ n preparing for my trip to China (Wuhan)...
also kinda lazy lar =P

me flew 2 China on sep 12th...
counting till now is alrdy 12th day le wor...
lol... so fast sia...
starting come Really kinda hard getting use 2...
food so SALTY + OILY...
den walk from one place 2 another also vry far..
wan eat, hav 2 walk, wan buy stuff, hav 2 walk also........

Luckily hostel still quite OK 2 stay in..
gt TV, aircon, internet...
as Compared 2 those tt e China students live in,
ours is consider luxurious le...
haha...
when i more free n not so lazy, will post up some photos de...
=)

bz

2008-08-23T23:51:00.002+08:00

been rather busy lately...
cos went bac 2 bqt 2 wrk...
hahaz...
so happy 2 see e ppl dere...
kinda miss dem... =)
n...
its was gd 2 noe tt dey still rmb me..
n was happy 2 c me..
many were askin where i disappear 2...

but...
still hav 2 slog like hell...
wrk $6 an hour end up, like dng wrk 4 $8...
somemore...
e first 3 days i went bac...
everyday had 2 stay pass 10hours of wrk....
can die lor...
totally no stamina...
leg damn pain...
think i getting old alrdy...

hope tt i will hav enf $$ 2 go China =)

Weee

2008-08-18T23:09:00.002+08:00

Hooray...
presentation has finish...
hahaz...
felt a heavy stone lifted...
n...
i think i quite OK...
at least better than e past presentations i hav made in Ngee Ann...
Hopefully...
Will get gd grades ba...
If nt...
think i will b vry upset...
cos i suffered so much during attachment......
Let us PRAY... =)

Haiz... but den...
attachment has come 2 an end...
i gng leave sg soon...
sad..
No $$$...
Zzzz...
so gng bac 2 bqt tmr lor...
kinda miss tt place...
but i think...
wun b missing ut once i gng bac...
cos dey dun appreciate us...

anyway...
gng leave sg soon...
my dear friends...
muz faster meet up k...
=)

finally

2008-08-16T01:06:00.003+08:00

finally updating my blog le.... been vry busy lately due 2 my 10000 word REPORT...

yay...
10k report dwn...
kinda worried will get deductions of points cos i SUBMITTED LATE....
online de late by 2mins...
so dumb....
thx so much 4 waiting 4 me at e office...
haha...
hopefully teacher wun noe i submitted so late...

left 15min presentation 2 go....
zzz....
felt even worse...
cos...
i am NT gd at dng presentations...
will get nervous easily de lorz...
haiz...
see how my luck goes on Mon...
JIAYOU 2 myself... hahaz...

this was wad my mummy was eating ytd nite...
lol...

anybody noes wad this is?

is e first time i am seeing tt...

feel so sua ku...

haha....

anyway, my mum also said she ard 30yrs nv eat le...

u can imagine how long tt is...

somemore, she say: "last time is climb trees n pluck from dere."

omg... my mummy climb trees sia!!!!

based on wad my mum says...
its a type of rambutan...
hahaz... anybody gt any clues can enlighten me =)

some pictures of my doggie emoing...

looks like me right... haha

!.... hahaz... candid shots....

tats was e day when we ended our attachments...

went 2 esplanade n take photos...

me too bo liao until i take my shadow...

haha.. artistic?

my buddy during attachment...
miss peiling...
cos me n her were so lucky tt we ended up in e same dept...
practically suffered tgt 4 ard 20 weeks...
hahaz...
so sort of gt closer during tt time...
日久生情嘛。。。

Hmmm

2008-08-11T16:52:00.003+08:00

haha...

am gonna miss this place...

n e ppl over dere...

hmmm...

who noes...

mayb i will b bac in e future?

lol...

Went to Stephanie's bro 21st bday party ytd...

Met someone 4 e 2nd time...

Sometimes i really do wonder...

y do guys always like 2 give gals e wrong impression?

or izzit tt we gals tend 2read things too in depth?

dey say tt i am blinded wif luv 2 hav notice anything...

but den...

he gt gf alrdy lorz...

so wads e pt of sayin all this?

i wonder...

if i hav met him when i was without a bf....

would things turn out different 4 us?

perhaps... but i would nv noe.. lol...

end up...

me n steph loiter till 3am den went hm..

Zzz...

y did we ended up so pathetic?

hav 2 scrimp n save till liddat...

ha.. or did we gotten use 2 spending last time?

haiz... haven gotten use 2 nt seeing u... =( much as i dun wish 2 admit it... i really really miss u... u always say n think tt u r nt impt 2 me.... Zzz... wadeva tt u wanna think lorz... dun wish 2 argue wif u... haiz... i think... i can only keep my feelings in my heart and keep it safe dere... cos... e things tt i wish 4 could nv happen....................

=)

2008-08-10T00:14:00.008+08:00

yay...

attachment finally finish le...

no more wrking till late hours...

no more rushing for datelines 2 meet...

no more typing and reading of tons of chinese words...

hahaz....

but still...

gt e 10000 report...

omg...

how 2 finish lar...

and the deadline is next friday (august 15)...

siansation....

took some photos befor we left SPH on fri (8/8)...

hahaz...

am i gonna miss this place?

i dunno...

but most likely nt coming bac 4 e time being

grp photo =)

after our attachment end on fri...

we went to celebrate by eating popeye...

e 7 of us...

i sick lor...

cos vomited on wed...

haha...

end up still eat fried chicken...

stomach feel damn bloated tt day...

anyway, it was really fun being wif dem...

cos dey were vry cheerful n fun....

likes 2camwhore and pose a lot...

dey juz brighten up ya day =)

another grp photo we took at e esplanade...

will be gng 2 China wif this bunch of ppl....

i noe i am nt alone and it would b fun wif dem ard....

haiz... didn't contact u 2dae... cos... kinda gt tired of e feeling of doing and waiting... been dng lotsa things without expecting anything in return... n... it juz doesn't feel gd.... disappointed... sad... lost... lotsa mix feelings...

mayb should juz kept everything in my heart from 2dae onwards... i miss u... miss ya hug.. miss ya voice... miss everything abt u... haiz... but.... i guess... nt much pt in being so stubborn... cos u dun belong 2 me n nv will.... much as i dun wan 2 believe it... its e truth n i dun think it could b change... i should learn to keep my feelings n lock it away so tt i will b free from hurt.........

Thoughts

2008-08-04T23:10:00.003+08:00

if ever i choose to disappear... its bcos i can't bear e thought of losing u... i rather believe tt it was me who choose to leave u... tats is hw bo liao i am... mayb will juz live in denial.. rather than 2 b sad... pretending it doesn't exist is way better than knowing it exist n u can't hav it....

was getting more n more numb each day... kinda losing e ability to think properly... hmmm... once i found e courage, poof, i will be gone =)

life was nv a bed of roses, why did i choose to lie in one full of thorns? dumb? stupid?

grower older yr by yr... felt tt i nv really grow up... people grow older n wiser, i grow dumber n more naive... was it bcos i choose to do so? mayb....
haiz... was getting stuck in kinda e same situation few yrs bac... digging a hole n burying myself with it.. wad irony...

sometimes, feel like an idiot..............
wad if i took yrs agn 2 get over it?........ Siansation

i hate myself
- for being weak + cowardly
- for nt being firm enf
- for letting ppl stepping all over me
- for nt wrkin hard enf (studies)
- for being stubborn
- for having strange thoughts
- for being foolish
- for feeling hurt
- for thinking of things tat wun nv come true

- nt able to earn enf $$
- nt able 2 support myself
- nt able 2 b independant n nt let anyone worry abt me
- nt able 2 decide wan i wan

*y am i a weirdo? lol....

China

2008-08-03T22:24:00.005+08:00

Nice picture?
from e looks of it dun look like its from China right?
this is wad i've gotten from e internet...
this place is Wuhan (pray tt it looks e same)
where i will be gng on e 12th of sep...
am gonna miss sg real bad =(
hopefully i can survive dere....

will be gng to Central China Normal University to study
this is wad it looks like on the sch website...
wasn't as bad as wad we thought lar...
but going dere to study is another thing..
haiz...
sure vry difficult de...
somemore still need to take exam...

some gd news though...
cos we gng during sep...
its coming to winter time...
hopefully will snow and i can get to see nice scenery..
=)
sch sort of brief us on the trip this fri with our parents...
haiz...
e most sian thing is hav to reach hostel by 11pm/11.30pm...
so no life...
cannot hang out late at night over dere...
zzz

some of e things tt i think r impt during e briefing...
highlight to let u guys noe =)
- dormitory tt we r stayin wun be out of electricity + internet
consider gd lar...
at least nth 2do still can surt net
- dormitory gt toilet, phone, tv (facilities consider gd lor.. lol)
- 2 in a rm, pay 500RMB per mth, sch cover 350RMB
hahaz...
which means is sg $30 per mth...
no need cram wif 4 ppl to save $$....
- go lesson cannot bring food, no slippers allow...
kinda sian leh...
i am a slipper lover =P
- flight is on 12th of sep, 8am fly
hav 2 b at airport at 5.30am..
hahaz... anybody wan to send me?

=)

2008-08-02T11:42:00.002+08:00

New blog skin!
yay
i like this

the picture is SO cute
somemore
no need click here click dere
can see everything

My horoscope

2008-08-01T11:52:00.005+08:00

This is wad i found on e internet...
Quite true...
those who wanna noe more abt me n gt time...
juz read lor...
=)

年轻的魔羯都是很单纯的，
不会知道自己将从天使变成恶魔，
魔羯座的人天生善良，
感情也都很脆弱，
也许会因为一些很小的事情难过很长时间，
所以他们通常在表面表现的酷酷的与事隔离的样子，
其实他们只是不希望让别人看到他脆弱的一面，
坚强，理智，承受是魔羯的代名词，
他们并不是很随便的表达自己所想，
希望了解身边所有人的性格，
并不是因为好奇，
好象只是因为一种安全感...

为了保护自己魔羯生出了一种特殊能力。
魔羯相对任何星座来比，

能在最段时间看出一个人的性格无论他们如何隐藏，
这点很像天蝎但是他们却看不出对方的心，
他们很容易就会了解到他们身边每一个人的优缺点，
但是他们通常不会说出来，
也不会太介意，
所有的魔羯都很包容对方
请记得，
如果有一只魔羯指出你的缺点那一定是友善的，
虽然他们会用一种讽刺的口气来指出...　　

所有魔羯都拥有２个性格，
只是大部分魔羯都不愿意去接受，
因为他们希望自己永远的傻傻的活下去，
魔羯的坏可以媲美过所有星座，
也许他们不相信，
但是随着时间的积累魔羯的人在慢慢变坏，
其实这也是一种自我保护，
他们需要知道了解自己最后的一张王牌，
做不做就看对方是否达到让魔羯抱负的地步了，
这并不是在表扬，
似乎用阴险可以形容...

当魔羯讨厌一个人的时候那就是一种绝对，
魔羯不会随便讨厌一个人，
但是如果哪个人做的太过分，
这个人会从魔羯心底彻底抹杀，
如果这个人激怒了魔羯，
那么这个人就只能等着灾难的降临...　

魔羯是个比较城府的人，
他们不会表面去得罪了，
但是他们会计划着让这个人知道他所做的事情将会给自己带来多大的回报，
魔羯的报复手段极其残忍，
他会加倍的还给你，

（如果你有一天遭受到摸名的灾难那么你去想想你在什么时候得罪了魔羯）
魔羯并不会随便的去加害一个人，
因为魔羯也讨厌自己的坏，
他们是天才的杀手，
一切的一切从很早以前就做好计划，
而且这些计划在没有事件出现前他们就在考虑如何完美并无破绽的进行报复计划，
也许这些和他的悲观有些联系，
魔羯的人很了解世界，
但他们固执的相信美好尽管自己知道那是不可能的，
大部分魔羯都讨厌坏坏的自己，
当然想抛弃自己是不可能的...

朋友（最喜欢装傻的星座）　　
魔羯的人都很没有安全感，
他们喜欢在任何人面前装傻，
这可不是一般的装傻能力，
魔羯人聪明就在于这点，
他们认为只有傻子在会不牵扯到任何伤害，
与其做一个聪明的人不如当一个傻子平凡而又随意，
如果不是值得魔羯相信的朋友魔羯永远不会让对方知道自己会有智慧，
而无论安全与不安全魔羯对朋友都很真，
他们很珍惜这些朋友...

他们最希望获得朋友的信任，
如果从一个朋友那里得不到信任，
他不会再与这个朋友交往下去．
和魔羯接触过的人都会认为他们脾气很好，
好的似乎发傻，
其实他们并不是脾气好，
只是他们很会装，
因为他们了解身边的朋友的所有性格，
所以他们在包容对方，
就算你做了什么过分的事，
他们也早就想考虑好如果对方为什么会这样做，
最明显一点，
你们可以去看看身边魔羯的朋友，
无论你怎么做那些魔羯都不会很惊讶的，
其实他们已经知道你为什么会这样了...

魔羯的交友观也很随便，
他们可能会和贵族很好，
也可能会和乞丐聊天，
一切的一切只是心灵的交往，
很少有魔羯会有势力眼，
除非你这个人品太差了...

感情（超级白痴）　　
魔羯的人傻的可以，
他们并不了解爱情，
但是他们只知道爱的感觉，
对于他们任何感情的表达都是一种感觉，
他们很认真的感受每一个感觉，
大部分感觉都可以一个人去感觉，
最失败的爱却要两个人，
傻傻的魔羯一开始会认为，

爱你是我自己的事情和你没关系，
可是到后来越来越感觉不是滋味，
于是开始对对方表白，
表白成功后却不知道如何走下一步，
也许是太不浪漫在作祟，
魔羯的人可能会拿任何事情开玩笑，
但是在爱情方面只要他说出”我爱你”或者话题谈到将来结婚，
那么他绝对不是在开玩笑...

魔羯很物质，
但是这点和金牛处女不一样，
他们的物质表现在爱上，
他们认为给所爱的人带来无限的物质的就是最大的幸福，
因为他们很自卑，
唯一能用自己努力获得来的就只有物质了。

当自己努力的去让自己所爱的人幸福的时候，
自己所爱的人却因为其他的其他离开了他，
而到最后自己却不明白自己到底做错了什么，
真是可怜的家伙们...

追求
魔羯的追求是认真的，
只要对方不让魔羯认为完全没有机会，
魔羯就会像疯子一样的追求着，
他们其实对自己非常没有信心，
唯一的动力只是相信自己在爱着，
为了对的起自己的感情，
为了认真的去爱一回...

被追求　
魔羯对于不喜欢的人不会给予任何机会，
魔羯的人很善良，
而且他们知道长痛不如短痛的道理，
如果魔羯勉强接受了你，
那也是出于一种同情心，
但是交往没几天他们就开始内疚，
他们认为怜悯的爱对追求者来说是一种伤害，
他们会尽量的躲避并且对追求者很冷淡追求者尽量的让追求者开始讨厌她／他．
如果追求者不理解的话，
放心最长不超过一年，
魔羯会很理智的告诉你别在联系了，
她／他会消失的无影无纵...

拒绝　

如果魔羯真的爱了就不会去拒绝你，
永远不会...

被拒绝　
魔羯比任何一个星座对感情都很认真，
恢复伤痕的时间也很长，
他们会选择消失，
这样对你对他都有好处，
因为他怕多看你一眼
而又再次无法自拔

他怕再多看你一眼　
心如刀割...

Counting dwn

2008-07-29T08:47:00.003+08:00

=)
my attachment left 9days nia...
counting dwn =P
finally...
haha...
free from all the news writing...
think i will b kinda sad when i leave...
cos e ppl here r so nice...
hmmm...
but if u ask me to come bac n wrk...
still hav 2 consider...
cos...
dun really noe wad i wan to do when i grow up..

haiz...
still gt tt 10000 word report...
so sianz...
den after e report....
hav to earn more $$ to go China...
N i hav less than a mth to do tat...
haiz....

*life is difficult...

=X

2008-07-27T21:51:00.004+08:00

Haiz.
whyyoutreatmesonice?
whyyoudunwanbwifmeyetutookmyheartaway?
alwaysmakemehangbtwsadnessnhappiness...
amleavingheresoon..
dunnohowiamgonnalivealifewithoutu..
sortofgottenusetoubeingardme...
=(

*lost

Sick

2008-07-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

haiz...
thought i am recovering....
but den...
dunno y...
2dae gotten worse!
i almost lost my voice...
*faint*
it feels terrible...
wanting to speak yet u can't...
haiz...

somebody is coming bac soon...
haiz...
even thought i get to speak to you everyday...
i still will miss you somehow..
zzz...
muz learn nt to do tat...
should concentrate on my sch stuff...
jiayou 4 me =)

*its hard for me to let you go......

=）

2008-07-24T10:37:00.002+08:00

亲爱的朋友们。。
最近的我是不是变得很不自爱？
唉。。
我的性格就是这样的吧。。。
虽然会想很多很多。。
但是，想做的事还是会去做。。。
做了那么多事。。。
不管有没有结果。。。
只要我觉得值得就行了吧。。。
我就是这样的傻。。。
对每个人都是那么地用心。。。
才会有那么多爱我的朋友啊。。。
不是吗？哈哈 =P

所以呢，不管是谁都不要为我担心。。。
我会好好的照顾自己的啦。。
因为。。。
我一向都是那个照顾你们的啊。。。
如果我不在。。。
我知道你们一定会很想念我的 =）
而且，我很坚强。。。
跌倒了一定会在爬起来。。。
不管用多长的时间。。。

*我相信，傻人一定会有傻福的=P

hmmm

2008-07-23T23:49:00.002+08:00

after hearing my story..
a lot of ppl might think i am dumb...
but...
tats wad i am ma....
n...
i juz wanna try my best...
no matter wad...
even though i might get hurt in e end..
but...
at least...
i noe tt i've tried...
i wun hav any regrets i guess
=)

*happiness is hard to find, even harder to keep....

day 1

2008-07-21T10:38:00.003+08:00

21/07

Monday
day 1 without seeing you...
i am sick...
got sore throat, throat very pain...
haiz...
really wanted to get an mc...
end up... i left early in e afternoon and go see doc...
doc say throat infection...
might hav fever...
ask me to rest...
=(

me was waiting for ya msg...
guess... you really do care...
was really glad tt u called n text me...
at least...
i noe that i still hav some place in ya heart....
haiz..

*i think.. i am the one that gotten use to you...

what will i do without u? hmmm....

2days ago - July 18th

2008-07-20T23:23:00.004+08:00

haha.. recently been kinda busy...
only 2dae den gt time 2 blog...
=)

get to meet my buddies to celebrate gracey bday
my sec sch friends...
noe dem 4 ard 6years + le...
hope tt our friendship would sustain 4eva =)

we took a grp photo
from left, stephanie, huiwen, grace, janine and me
hahaz...

after tt...
grace and janine left le...
haiz...
always liddat de lorz...
zzz

e 3of us...
nt wanting to go hm so early....
went to long bar...

hahaz..
den i starting gng a bit crazy and camwhoring..
my friends all think its nt me...
lol...
cos its so unlike me to zi lian...
i have always been e one who dun like to take pictures...

anyway...
really spend a nice day wif dem..
hope 2 see dem agn soon =)

Hmmm

2008-07-18T10:21:00.003+08:00

If... caring for you makes you happy...
I think... i will continue to care for you...
If... you like chatting wif me...
I think... i will continue to chat with you...
If... msging you makes you feel love...
I think... i will continue to msg u...
If... being with me makes you feel comfortable...
I think... i will just stay by your side quietly...
If... you will feel better by not having close contact...
I think... i will keep a distance and continue to care...
If... you prefer to treat me as little sister...
I think... i will just be your sister....

A lot of ppl might think i am foolish...
but i guess...
its juz now or never..
dun wish to hav any regrets...
at least...
i noe tt i hav tried...
mayb, it juz wasn't mine...

*am still waiting =)

=(

2008-07-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

心情真的很沉重…
甚至觉得我好像在自讨苦吃…
自己是活该的…
我也不想这样的…
可是，控制不了自己……
唉，你知道吗？
你说的每一句话…
对我的影响真的很大…
我会因为你的那一句话笑，甚至是哭…
唉…

*很想解脱……

My Dog

2008-07-16T00:24:00.009+08:00

look at my dog!
aint she cute?
hahaz...
my dog is really a vry clever gal...
she learn things damn fast de...
if only we gt time to teach her more things...

haiz...
sad to say....
her body is like mine, vry weak...
still rmb tt time i saw her vomit blood...
so scary lorz...
den nw, kena dog bite...
gt blood clot on her back...
haiz... y she so poor thing?
really hope she can get well soon...

hahaz... in this picture she look so scary right?

Haiz

2008-07-16T00:24:00.002+08:00

at times...
i seriously wonder whether i can really let go a not...
haiz...
its kinda hard u noe...
cos hav gotten use to it le ma...
N.. if i really let go..
wun i be left with nth?
a bit is better than none i guess...
Zzz...
y do i hav such a mess up life all e time?

*if only things were simple

Letting go

2008-07-14T08:49:00.001+08:00

haiz...
i hav finally decided to let it go....
wanted to free myself of him...
so tat i wun b so sad...
zzz...
siansation...
but i still feel sad mahz..
haiz...
y am i so unlucky at times?
zzz...

*how i wish i had a chance

无奈

2008-07-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

我真的真越来越不认识自己了。。。
唉。。。
不知道自己要的是什么。。。
自己在做什么。。。

每天。。
就好像做梦一样。。
很快乐，很幸福。。。
但是，却知道这份快乐并不会长久。。。
真的好希望能够紧紧抓住。。
不让它溜走。。。

我真的是自讨苦吃。。。
好无奈。。。

Zzz

2008-07-11T12:43:00.006+08:00

been wondering...
should i continue wad i am dng?
haiz...
will it end up me getting more hurt?...
sianz...
really dunno wad i can/should do...
advice anyone?
hmmm....

Hmmm

2008-07-08T09:30:00.005+08:00

been updating too much sad stuff...
juz feel like digressing juz 4 2dae...

dun wanna think abt it...

dun wish to feel....

mayb.. i could juz forget...

and pretend it nv happen befor...

hmmm

quite a gd idea hor?

last last sat...

thanks 2 wenwen...

i get to watch the rehearsal of NDP parade from a nice place

nice right?

hahaz...

either thought the fireworks is only 4 a short short while...

but den...

was still vry happy tt day...

cos vry long time nv seen such nice scenery le...

hence...

we took pictures at a special angle for fun...

haha...

special right?

see the buildings behind us...

so nice =P

*if only life was simple

Sad

2008-07-08T01:16:00.003+08:00

haiz...
everything is gone within e blink of an eye...
sometimes i wonder...
am i really fated to led this kind of life?
where...
i am nt able to b wif e one i like?

haiz...
mayb is a form of punishment towards me ba...
dunno...
vry vry long time haven felt like this le...
i think...
strictly speaking...
it was yrs ago...
haiz...
it kinda hurts........
n i wonder how long it will take to heal....
hmmm

*haiz...

i guess....

it doesn't really matters anymore

Dream

2008-07-06T20:35:00.005+08:00

Really feel likes i am living in a dream these days....
haiz...
its like, being soak in happiness...
and not knowing how long it will last...
and it is so unreal...
zzz...
wad if, one day
i wake up and you r gone?

wad if...
you decide that you have to leave me?
i seriously dunno wad i will do...
or wad i can do...
but one think is for sure...
i will be damn sad....
zzz....

haiz...

Zzz

2008-07-04T10:32:00.004+08:00

LoL...
guess where i am now?
hahaz....
at wrk place... =P
pile up wif quite a few things to write...
dunno how to start...
haha...
so blog lor...
mayb can get my mind to start wrkin...

haiz...
been so confusing lately...
going to China in 2mths time le...
mayb i should not continue to accompany somebody...
wad if i fall?
will i be able to get up agn?
hmmm...
i think i will lar, i am a strong person...
juz dun feel like getting sad all over agn...
vry sianz de.....

*it might be easy to get someone you like/someone who likes u

but its hard to get the person to like you the same way you like him

and its even harder to maintain

Attachment

2008-06-24T23:47:00.007+08:00

hello ppl...
now updating on the things i have been dng recently....
now i dng attachment at SPH...
as a journalist (ya, you never see wrongly)...
hahaz... its kinda surprising really...
to view myself as a reporter...

well...
e whole attachment thingy is ard 20 weeks...
now is alrdy halfway through...
all i can say is...
its really kinda tough...
at times, i also not sure whether i would want to be in this line...
but, i am still enjoying lar...
even though it is vry stressful...

day in day out...
you are either typing or out for event and interviews...
i am juz an intern...
alrdy liddat...
its a miracle tt e full times are still surviving...
haha...

*i juz wanna meet somebody i truely luv and the person also luv me...

but i think.... tats too much 2 ask for =(

am i too greedy?

Revive

2008-06-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

hahaz...
hello ppl...
guess wad...
i am finally willing to revive my blog after leaving it hanging for so long...
keke...

oh well..
recently been vry busy..
and i really mean very...
hahaz...
due to attachment...
its been ard 2mths+ of my attachment...
still got ard 9more weeks to go....
really hope to hang on till den...
well...
i will try to update my dead blog more often...

cya =)

<3

2007-08-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

知人知面不知心。。。
正所谓：一个人的外貌美与丑，不代表着他的个性。
只有真正的了解他，我们才能知道他的人格。

人不可貌相，海水不可斗量。。。
我们不能光凭样貌断定一个人的能耐。
只有真正的了解他，我们才知道他有何作为。

女人心海底针。。。
一位女孩子心理所思考的事，不是每个人都能够了解的。
就算你自认为真正的了解他，我们也无法知道他究竟在想什么。

坏人是不会把“我是坏人”写在头上。。
所谓：人心难测。。。

就连人性都分不清。。究竟还有谁能够相信。。。
=（

Idiom Time

2007-07-31T00:33:00.000+08:00

The POT calling the KETTLE black...

hahaz...

those who noes wad e meaning...

Congratulations!!! *clap clap*

Your command of english is gd...

for those who dun understand

is : "a situation in which one person criticizes another for a fault they have themselves"...

you noe y i explain this?

hahaz...

cos...

i met a CHILDISH POT 2dae...

oh my...

How special n unique...

LoL...

anyway, back to the story...

mr Pot came n stop us while we were on our way to dinner...

N...

ask us wth we wan....

i was like ! "wad e hell"

y do u behave like a Pot?

in e first place...

its was u who say my friend k...

so it was nt wrong for us to stand up for her...

N...

my friend nv say u HUM JI k...

dunno who told u tat...

was he/she trying to be funny?

y do u all wan put words into my friend's mouth...

anyway, juz bcos my friend say u, u cannot take it izzit?

u nt pa jiao wad..

eyes can open de...

anyway, aren't guys suppose to be gentlemanly...

hav a big heart (forgiving)?

N r nice n polite?

n y do u wan find trouble with gals?

aren't u ashamed when u r finding gals to quarrel?

even your own friend dun support u..

N...

u r older than us...

"supposedly more mature"

so.....

can't you think ?

Y is my friends so unlucky to hav met childish guys....

2007-07-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

-__-"

so end up its my fault k...
i BIG mouth k...
i told ppl out of concern for u...
cos i dunno wad to do...

if u were me...
would u nt have said it out?
so u would juz let me juz disappear on my b'day right...
let me emo by myself...

sorry...
its all fault...
i shouldn't hav said anything...

n now ever

N...
u really can dun go to the chalet...
nobody would b unhappy...
dun worry...

2007-07-17T17:14:00.000+08:00

Your Toes Should Be Blue

You're a little out there, but that means you take guys to a place that's out of this world!

Your ideal guy: Zany, hilarious, and totally unpredictable.

Stay away from: Anyone who has to get up for work in the morning

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

AHHHH

2007-07-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

头痛啊！
别担心，我不是撞到头 =P
只是。。
在烦恼些事情罢了。。。
haiz...
心有余而力不足。。。
你们知道是什么意思吗？
那就是新的一种病症。。。
只有在关心人的时候才会有可能患上。。

我真的不知道该怎么做才好。。

这也不是，那也不行。。。

很想撒手不理leh...

可是，不可以。。

haiz...

为什么事情不能简单点呢？

烦恼越多，头也越来越大。。。

头变大？不要想太多。。。

头不可能怀孕的，九个月后，不会生孩子。。。

很想拿一根针，pop的一声，就把烦恼给刺破。。。

不过呢，mission impossible...

好烦。。。

2007-07-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

well...
finally free to update my blog eh...
lol...
so those who r reading it.. b grateful ya...
tat in spite of me being sho bz...
i still update u ppl of my life...
hahaz...
so bhb... =P

ok... talk back to 2days ago...
02/07/2007
my 1 yr anniversary wif mr sheep...
was vry happy tat day... =)

the pic so ugly

hahaz... but e flowers was nice... =)
n he also give a bracelet...
which was nice, but vry easy will spoil...
the pic hard to take...
so if u guys wanna noe, juz ask me n i will show u all...

N these was wad i ate for dinner... which was vry nice of cos... ex also... lol....

this is corn soup

this was the fish

N this was the finger food... Yum Yum

thankew dar dar...
4 e flower, prezzie n dinner....

really appreciate all e things u hav done for me...

sry to keep u waiting tat day...

To all my friends who r single...

I sincerely hope n wish all u all will find someone who loves and care 4 u a lot...

dun worry...

happiness is something worth waiting for... serious =)

to wen: stay cheerful k... u wun die without guys =) if really will, jiu muz jiayou n find one k...

to step: dun b so picky... later one day no guys wan u den u noe... =P

to grace: study hard k... u hav a bf liao n i hope he treats u nicely... =)

to janine: single is gd... but u still need a guy to take care of u de k....

to mac: i dun noe whether u will get to read this.. anyway... dun angry with me le lar... will grow old easily de....

to jye shing n serena: take care k... faster get a bf larz... hope to go out agn sometime...

to yanling: ms leann... choose wisely k... N... Dun ever do things tat u will regrets in e future...

to anita: take gd care if yaself.. stay happy always with vasu =)

How weird...

2007-06-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

sadded...
didn't get to eat sushi 2dae..
n end up...
it was my fault...
when it was YL who couldn't go in e first place...

haiz...
ya...
all my fault lar.........

Coke - Cold Joke =)

2007-06-28T02:06:00.000+08:00

so sad ma...

so muz do something to cheer you all up...

oh ya, ppl...

do rmb to wear a jacket or cardigan when u read my stuff k...

otherwise later get flu cos too cold....

ask u guys a question....

where can we see stars?

e most common answer would b in e sky right...

nah...

e simplest way is 2 get hit on e head vry hard...

n, u will c stars le lor... (u noe, like in e cartoons)

alternatively...

u can go to the zoo lor...

不明白？

aiya... 星星=猩猩

sho easy...

use ya imagination

tats all... Cya =)

dun forget me k...

Matters Of The Heart

2007-06-28T01:59:00.000+08:00

Haiz...

sometimes...

hav e heart...

but can't help in anything...

feel sho lost...

hate 2 c friends sad...

but...

dere's nth i can do...

so useless sia... siansation...

y r guys liddat...

always nv say things clearly...

Hi Hi

2007-06-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

Hello ppl, i am back...

finally revived my blog...

keke...

how nice right...

i'm sure u all miss me sho much....

well, hope to blog in more often lar...

with more things...

so ppl, come n hav a taste of my "lame nest" k?

but dun eat my blog up, a taste will do lar..

=) smile

2006-11-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

feeling so upset 2dae...
juz wanna cry e whole day but can't...
still hav lotsa things to do...
sho worried...

haiz...
dunno wad e hell happen 2 my dog...
she vomited blood!
its sho scary...
seriously dunno wad happen...
so helpless...
seeing her liddat...
looking sad n painful...
i really dunno wad 2 do except 2 put her into hospital...
hopefully she will b alright tmr...
n e vet can find out wads wrong wif her...

been very unlucky this week...
got friend ask me take care of her hamster...
den e mummy hamster give birth...
den she ate all her babies...
haiz...
n nw this has to happen to my dog...
did i do anything wrong?
y muz let my dog suffer...
sob sob...
haiz....

2006-10-21T05:09:00.000+08:00

feel so so terrible nw...
damn tired, but can't slp...
haiz...
y?
y am i so unreasonable?
y r u so obedient?
y do i always quarrel wif u?
is dere nth better tat i can do?
hate myself 4 behaving this way...
i really dun wainn de...
but...
juz can't help it...
dui bu qi..
mayb i juz dunno how 2 luv a person...
dunno e correct way...
haiz...

2006-08-08T13:49:00.001+08:00

its been like 2months since i update my blog le right?
been gone 4 sho long sia...
lolz....
anyway...
me in sch nw...
am sho bored, juz suddenly feel like blogging...

yay...
this semester gonna end soon...
can say happy la...
no sch le ma...
den no need c my idiotic n irresponsible lecturer...
he is totally sho irresponsible lor...
so sucky...

hate him man...
his seems nv 2appear for his lessons de...
haiz...
taking urgent leave, on mc...
wad else can he do?
hopefully, he dun ever appear for his lesson...
den me jiu dun get chance 2 c him le....
gd right...

haiz...
nw is e time 2finish up projects...
submitting it...
den waiting 4e results...
i noe tat this semester confirm i wun get gd grades de la...
juz hope tat it wun b sho bad...

Goin Crazy

2006-06-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

haiz...
ytd went drinking wif somebody...
felt tat i do something which i shouldn't do...
i dun wish to hurt him...
reall dun...
but i noe its impossible nw...
i think he already sinks himself into it liao...
its like i really dunno wad to do...
haiz..
its making me sho bad n guilty...

den somebody msg me at 7am 2dae...
haiz...
wad e hell man...
duno wad e hell he is thinking...
can i noe???
pls?
haiz...
u guys r making goin crazy soon...
if this goes on for any longer, i really might go crazy...
shut myself up...
dun respond to anybody...

Tired

2006-06-12T01:39:00.001+08:00

damn lethargic right nw..
haiz...
from sat 5am jiu start work..
den went for outdoor catering from 3pm till 1am..
den..
since sun workin 5am..
jiu nv go hm...
hang ard 4plus den cai go work..
den work till 3pm..

so..
in total...
me work ard 30 hours without proper rest..
wow..
how fantastic is tat?
power right...
but den, me injured my hand...
got a few bruises on my left hand...
no wonder carry oval tray was rather painful...
lol..
but, its was till i take off my uniform den i realise i injured myself de..
haiz..

very weak nowadays...
dunno y...
little little things also sad..
cry sho damn easily..
feel very useless...
duno wads wrong wif me..
sick? depression?
mayb...
welll...
i also not sure...
anyway, i am an abnormal person...

guess i better b slping liao...
gonna work at night...
later...
yawnz...
cya..

2006-06-06T11:56:00.000+08:00

ello ppl..
me back again =)
guess wad..
me in sch nw..
wating for my "girlfriend"...
she finishing sch at one 2dae...
hav 2wait 4 her...
lol..
ppl who noe me well should noe who i refering to la..
anyway..
ya..
sho sianz jiu blog a while..

haiz..
juz finish my translation test at 11 juz nw...
its was terrible man...
sho difficult...
sure die liao =(
haiz..
already got a C+ for e assignment le leh...
how sia?
if i fail e test, think i can go die le...
hahaz..
anyway, wads over is over..
wait for e results den c whether 2 die or nt ba..
hehe..

hmm...
dunno whether should regret goin 2this course anot leh...
weird course..
cannot say its slack, but can't say its free either...
=(
haiz..
got lotsa projects 2do..
who was e idiot who say tat poly life is more relac than jc life?
can kill tat fellow?
lolz...

well..
lets juz say tat poly life n jc life hav different kind of stress ba...
u really can't compare btw dem de...
correct?

hmmm

2006-06-01T20:33:00.002+08:00

been reading my past post..
realise something...
y am i always writing sad stuffs...
is my life really tat pathetic...?
honestly...
i hav no idea...

well...
my life, to me is really pathetic...
u noe, fallin for e wrong guys...
getting into unnecessarily troubles...
haiz.. ...
sho fan...
dunno wad i hav been doin man...
siansation....

Lost

2006-05-30T04:51:00.000+08:00

ya...
tats wad i hav been feeling recently...
very lost...
dunno wad i doin is right or wrong...
dunno n dun wish to care ba...
thinkin too much will only bring upon misery to myself...
haiz...
sadx...
terrible..
mayb i will really go mad sooner or later...
hahaz

actually, mad also gd leh...
no need think so much...
no need care abt anything....
no need bother abt consequences n stuffs liddat...
can juz heckcare abt it..
kinda shiok lor......
cos too much things hav been weighing on me..
should i juz let go?
i had no idea...
hope to get an answer soon..

confuse...

2006-05-29T10:24:00.000+08:00

hi ppl..
guess how long i nv blog le..
hmm...
ard 7 months le..
its like this blog has been dead for so long..
but y do i revive it 2dae?
sho lame right?

recently...
a lot of things happen recently..
dunno whether i should call it big stuff a lot...
i dun find it really very serious..
but SOME ppl is making a big deal out of it...
its like wad e ****
its already as pathetic as is...
pls dun cause more trouble for us k...
its not like we r little kids...
we still noe how to think de k...
i wun go n die or wad de k...

its juz tat i falling back to e past...
to my big hole...
to where nobody can save me..
N i dun wish to b save... is tat UNDERSTOOD or wad?
haiz...

hmmm

2005-10-22T00:54:00.000+08:00

lately been rather busy....

so haven been blogging much...

well...

its liddat de la...

o levels ma...

muz work hard....

hahaz...

but even though i liddat say...

i'm nt putting in much effort also...

haiz...

its like only left ard one week 2 my actual first paper...

i am still like....

so slack la...

sianz....

well...

when next year result comes up...

think it would b ard e same as prelim result...

but den tats nt gd enough...

i wan better results leh...

but den...

at this rate i'm studyin...

its like impossible lor...

haiz...

sianz, sianz, sianz....

2005-10-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

hello ppl...

i am back again...

lolz...

now is october liao....

left 1 month till my o levels le...

so fast sia...

scary...

hahaz...

i still haven tell u all abt my prelim grades right...

well...

on e overall still quite ok...

but i failed 2 subjects...

haiz...

should hav work harder...

hopefully would b able 2 do my best during e o' levels ba....

my results :

english - A2

higher chinese - B4

combined humanities - C5

Emaths - A1

Amaths - E8

biology - C5

chemistry - B4

physics - E8

liddat L1R5 is 18...

cos i rather lucky ma...

e failed subjects no need 2 include...

haiz...

so tyco...

really muz buck up...

but den i dun think i will b able 2 improve much...

had a bad feeling abt o levels sia...

sianz...

up till now...

still misses somebody...

can't forget him...

so, juz take it as nth happen lor...

mayb i will b happier...

who noes...

bye bye...

2005-09-26T00:08:00.000+08:00

heyz ppl...

sry wor...

so darn long nv blog...

cos....

got a period of time i find it meaningless...

2 even talk or wad...

became rather weird again i guess...

lolz...

well...

somethings r better left unsaid...

ya...

at least i wun think 2 much...

at times....

i really dunno writing it in my blog will help much a not...

haiz...

anyway...

still missing him lots...

hoping i can forget him...

ya...

hmmm....

recently i had a pet dog....

stay at my hse for a week le...

she's so damn cute sia...

love her so much...

havin a dog is gd...

it would keep me busy...

den i wun hav time 2 think abt anything else le....

i would put my whole heart in lovin it...

but...

me so emotional...

i would b so heartbroken if anything happens 2 it...

haiz...

recently she's got a bit of a cough...

hopefully she can get well...

lolz..

tell u guys...

me so lazy de...

but after my dog came....

i swept e floor everyday sia...

lolz...

once in a while still got mop floor...

hahaz...

den i was telling my mum...

her daughter suddenly so guai...

got help wif hsework...

noe wad she said?

hahaz...

she grumble tat i wasn't doin all e chores 4 her anyway...

i was doin e chores 4 my doggie...

ya...

quite right...

i very bad hor?

lolz...

tmr is a bad day...

lolz..

cos after prelims liao...

den tmr most likely is checking paper time...

sad sia....

dun think i will hav gd results...

siansation...

lolz...

most properly blogging again tmr...

Cya!

Weeee....

2005-09-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

hahaz...
had a rather interesting nite 2dae...
think i becomin more pro liao...
2dae drink a can of beer n i didn't really feel anythin...
consider gd cos i SELDOM drink k...

lolz...
had fun playin hopscotch wif mac dey all 2dae...
suddenly we becomin little kids...
hmmm...
guess i was kinda stress out recently...
dunno y...
den 2dae sweat a lot n had lotsa laughter...
rather enjoyable...

as 4 him...
i still dunno wad i should do la...
sianz...
day past day...
miss him....
haiz...

as 4 my studies...
even worse...
crap sia..
nv study...
i waste my time this few days...
so if my prelim nt gd...
serves me right...
-- lost --

...PaThEtIc LiFe...

2005-09-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

oh man...

y do i hav e feeling tat i am falling back 2 my black hole?

sad sia...

dunno y...

becoming slack AGAIN....

wasted 1 whole day 2dae when my prelims r juz after e sch holidays...

wads wrong wif me?

something is nt right...

but den...

i juz can't pinpoint it...

all i noe is...

if i dun do something abt it...

its really really gonna affect my prelims...

haiz....

really feel like banging my head on e wall...

if i dun start moving...

e world is gonna juz left me behind n continue itself...

i will b lagging n lagging n lagging...

den i will b classified as?

FAILURE -__- ...

lolz...

quite happi wif e result of superstar...

hahaz..

i noe a lot of ppl will hav a lot of comments when dey see my view...

well, his performance wasn't as gd as kelly 2dae...

ya, i admit tat...

but i still support him...

dunno y...

guess he his song r able 2 touch my heart n tats all tat matters...

isn't it?

i think i am a weird person...

ya, think most of u all think this way 2...

mayb...

i am juz WEIRD...

n my thinking is way different from ppl...

i am a LONER liddat...

lolz...

liddat unique ma...

i seldom cry infront of ppl...

but den...

dunno y if watchin show got touching parts i will juz cry de...

mayb cos i dun cry infront of ppl ba...

so...

got chance 2 let out my unhappiness...

i will juz grab tat chance n cry out...

hahaz...

mayb...

tmr got bio prelim practical n i nv even touch my books...

pro right?

hahaz...

crap so much liao...

Cya...

2005-08-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

a few days nv blog in le...
hahaz...
so gonna say my 3 day activity in 1 entry...

Monday
had physics practical ma...
was so unfair lor...
hate e teacher man...
haiz...
paper is 1 an a half hour...

so swop over time should b 45 minutes

right?

wah liao...

e teacher tell e other side 2 swop first, den came 2 us...

we start ard 5 to 10 mins late...

u may think?

5 to 10 mins only wad...

but den its a lot lor, somemore prelim exam...

u can write a couple of things de lor...

den she even help a couple of ppl 2 set up...

hello, its an exam...

can help de meh???

if wan help muz help all...

lolz...

anyway was rather piss off lor...

den e other experiment think need a little more time...

we were telling her this ma...

den u noe wad she answered us?

"its ur luck"...

i was like (-__-")

where got teacher liddat say de?

den its nt totally our fault as our swopping over was a little late...

so sarcastic la...

should say something nicer lor...

haiz...

nv finish e paper...

left a couple of blanks...

physics results sure die liao...

Tuesday
had chemistry practical...
was rather fun =)
mostly noe how 2 do...
juz felt rather stupid cos ending part...
need identify e salt (eg. sodium chloride, iron (II) carbornate)...
den i go put e element (eg. iron, chloride)
sad sia...
nv think properly...
hahaz...
basically, was much better that physics practical...
hopefully can get decent grade...

2dae did something which i kinda regret...
haiz...
but den cannot b undone liao...
after prelim den see how ba...
muz concentrate on studies...

Wednesday
which is 2dae...
lolz...
2dae was teacher's day celebration...
kinda fun...
especially e basketball match...
hahaz..
didn't noe e principle still nt bad...
can shoot rather well...
2dae e concert also nt bad...
hahaz...
fusheng, royston, yvonne n evelyn singing quite gd...
had a rather enjoyable day...

den after celebration, a weird thing happen...
my grp suddenly had a small meeting 2 sort things out...
cos of some conflict...
it went pretty well...
was rather happi tat we can sort things out once n for all...
den no need bottle up all e unhappiness...
i think tats wad friendship is all abt...
dere r happiness n sadness...
den friends can pinpoint out ya mistakes, n will try 2 change u...
so gals....
i will try 2 change de... =)

2005-08-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

hi..

i blog again..

tmr physics practical wor..

kinda scared...

hopefully tmr can get a simple paper...

this sat n sun kinda wasted it off again...

didn't do much stuff....

sianz...

dunno when i will b able 2 get e motivation 2 study...

am i gonna fail my prelim befor i can wake up???

i hate my life...

haiz...

miss him...

dunno whether will b able 2 see him this week...

sianz....

..........

2005-08-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

oh man...

think i a bit sick liao...

haiz...

had a running nose n was sneezing from morning all e way till afternoon...

sad sia...

kinda ruin my performance 4 higher chinese prelim =(

sianz lor...

somemore e words mostly is i noe de...

but den careless write wrongly...

some can't recall...

next week mon is physics practical...

tues is chemistry practical...

muz really jia you...

cos only practical can pull up my grades...

my theory paper think a bit cannot make it...

lol...

hopefully will get e motivation 2 start my revision...

byeeee

2005-08-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

stress!!!
really feel like screaming...
wondering will i ever go nuts...
haiz...
am i havin depression?
well...
went 2 hav a search on e net n look wad i found...

Symptons of depression:

Appearance - Sad face, slow movements, unkept look
Unhappy feelings - feeling sad, hopeless, discouraged, or listless
Negative thoughts - "I'm a failure," "I'm no good," "No one cares about me."
Reduced activity - "I just sit around and mope," "Doing anything is just too much of an effort."
Reduced concentration
People problems - "I don't want anybody to see me," "I feel so lonely."
Guilt and low self-esteem - "It's all my fault," "I should be punished."
Physical problems - Sleeping problems, weight loss or gain, or head aches
Suicidal thoughts or wishes - "I'd be better off dead," "I wonder if it hurts to die."

!
lolz....
but think mine is more of a gastric problem n stress ba....
or izzit?
hahaz....
we shall see...

haiz...
but den recently...
think my stomach is giving me probs again...
oh man...
not gd appetite, den feel like puking...
=(
or izzit nt enough slp?
hmmm...
kind of la....
sianz...
hand will tremble again...
mayb i got some sort of disease...

so crap sia...
tmr hcl prelim paper 1...
hopefully i will do well...
muz jia you...
chaoz....

2005-08-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

stress...
only study a bit 4 my higher chinese...
dunno how am i gonna finish in time 4 my prelim....
haiz...
somemore this week got so much test...
sianz lor =(
pathetic man...
can't e teachers pity us???
....

2005-08-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

dunno y 2dae i actually doin some of my homework...

although i slack most of e time...

hahaz...

but consider an improvement liao wor...

compared 2 e past...

always nv do homework...

heez...

but den...

higher chinese only study a teeny weeney bit...

die liao...

dunno whether will b able 2 finish revising in time a nt...

hopefully can ba...

so ppl takin higher chinese...

lets all work hard together wor...

muz jia you

i aim 2 get A...

but den, kinda hard...

muz PRAY...

i will also pray 4 u all...

lolz...

dunno y recently appetite like nt gd sia...

compare 2 e past...

is like reduce by half wor..

kinda scary right?

i also dunno..

due 2 stress?

mayb...

lolz..

can also slim down...

hahaz...

gtg...

cya!

2005-08-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

so tired...

i juz woke up actually...

gonna slp soon...

juz had a dream...

lolz...

if it was true den would b gd liao...

although i didn't dream of him...

i dream of something rather nice as well...

i receive a msg from his gal sayin tat he really liike me...

hahaz...

crazy right?

i had e weirdest dreams...

tats all le...

cya

2005-08-19T00:22:00.000+08:00

quite a few days nv blog in....

hmmm...

ytd went 4 english o level oral...

haiz...

guess i was 2 nervous liao...

can't think properly...

didn't do very well i think...

went silence a few times...

haiz...

even though e question was rather an OK one...

sianz lor...

cos lynn n quee huang in front of me ma...

so makes e situation more worse right?

lolz...

but wad is over is over liao...

so...

heck care le...

hahaz....

den 2dae lesson as usual...

after sch went 4 higher chinese...

had quite a crappy talk wif serena, mac n jye shing...

laugh till like crazy...

den juz rmb tat it was quite a while since we 4 tok liddat liao...

so fun sia...

juz watched finished superstar...

den was rather surprise at e results...

Kelly won...

hmmm...

even though i like her...

but...

think xin hui points was higher...

somemore her singing also better...

guess more ppl supported Kelly ba...

den 4 e guys...

weilian won...

so happi =)

this shows tat i didn't support e wrong person...

even though most of my friends didn't like him...

most of dem supported junyang...

actually i also expect junyang 2 win...

cos his score higher ma...

sure hav a lot of female supporters cos he's quite cute n singing also gd...

so i was kinda praying hard when dey announcing e results...

guess weilian got lots more supporters den him...

hahaz...

gtg...

buaiz...

2005-08-16T01:42:00.000+08:00

nowadays going back 2 e bad habit of slping late...

i also dunno...

hahaz...

but den tmr better slp early...

cos wed i got o level english oral...

so fast right...

scared later can't do well...

='(

our cls only ard 8 ppl retake mother tongue....

so little ppl right...

hahaz...

by right...

teacher should let us use e clsroom...

but den...

she shoo us out 2 e library...

4 those ppl who hav decided 2 retake chinese...

really muz jiayou k...

get an a1...

next week higher chinese prelim...

think gonna start revising soon...

dun wanna wait till e last minute ba...

is prelim...

can't fool ard liao...

so scared....

hope 2 get an A if can..

but...

dunno leh...

kinda hard...

sianz...

2dae kana nag by physics teacher...

nv do her homework only ma...

so noisy...

argh...

most troublesome teacher i hav ever meet sia...

gonna go liaoz...

chaoz (",)

2005-08-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

lolz...

weird right?

i nv do finish my homework but i am here 2 blog...

hahaz...

tmr die liao..

got ss test n i haven even study for it...

somemore its befor recess...

sian lor...

got so so so many things 2 do...

my prelim 4 higher chinese is on e 25th n 26th sia...

i haven even study a single thing!!!

die liao...

how can i cramp 4 years of my studies into juz 1 n a half weeks???

haiz...

exams comin soon...

mayb gonna totally disappear away from him...

so..

i can concentrate better...

haiz...

would he notice?

mayb i should juz concentrate in my studies first...

as 4 him...

i also dunno leh...

always make me very fan...

argh...

y do i like him???

sianz...

gonna go burn midnight oil liaoz...

cya =)

2005-08-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hi...

i here 2 blog again =)

i often wonder wad am i living 4....

up till now...

i still can't get e answer...

hopefully...

i will noe soon...

nowadays...

i juz realise tat i dun cry as often as i do in e past...

hmmm...

izzit gd or bad?

i dunno...

but gd in a sense tat i dun think as much nonsense as i did in e past...

learn 2 look at things in a more brighter way ba...

in this way...

i would b more happi right?

hope so ba...

not only that...

i dun talk as much as i did in e past...

weird right?

hahaz...

i also dunno y...

in cls...

its like if u juz leave me alone...

i might not utter a single word...

anyway...

now in cls i sitting alone ma...

so easier 2 zi bi also...

lolz =P

2dae e chinese results was out...

omg...

other than my cls...

e rest of e cls didn't get very gd results...

it was rather below expectations i think...

dey should hav gotton better right?

mrs wong might get a shock when she sees e results...

lolz...

but its no use thinkin 2 much abt it..

wad is over is over liao...

no point getting sad....

hey ppl...

muz jia you k!

those who retaking muz get a better results wor =)

2005-08-12T01:29:00.000+08:00

hello...
u all muz b wondering...
y so late le i still haven slp right?
haiz...
suddenly...
i began 2 think of all e nonsense again...
sianz...
dunno y i will always liddat de...
fan =(

tmr got lesson till 4 i think..
i dun wanna stay back...
i wanna go out...
wif him...
argh...
but dun think can lor...
my mum goin out at night...
i need 2 BABYSIT my bro...
he sec 2 liao lor...
sianz...

think i better go slp liaoz...
otherwise tmr sure doze off in cls...
cya...

2005-08-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

hello ppl...
finally...
i'm back...
muz welcome me....
hahaz...
rather happy...
cos finally can use com liao...

okies...
u noe y i ard 1 month nv blog?
cos...
com spoil la!
duh -_-"
lolz...
after a rather long time of buyin n fixing...
finally....
com back 2 normal le ba...

lets hav an update of things...
well...
recently went back 2 work....
even though i wasn't suppose 2...
in total...
work abt 6 days...
so now...
finally stopping work le...
hopefully..
will hav enough time 2 really get back 2 my studies...

lets talk abt work first...
actually...
can say it was rather fun going back 2 work..
u noe y?
cos we changing 2 table service ma...
den get 2 learn new things as well...
get 2 work wif lotsa gd friends also..
so on e whole...
still quite enjoy =)

but den kinda regret now..
cos studies more important ma..
den like wasted 4 days work when i should hav been studying n revising...
so...
if my prelim results no gd...
i hav only myself 2 blame lor...
haiz...

2dae although didn't really spend my day very meaningfully...
as long as i am wif him...
i already very very happi liao...
no matter wad we doin...
hahaz...
think i blog in till now enough liao...
chaoz (",)

2005-07-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

hav anyone ever notice how e time files?
now is already e 3rd week of sch liao...
very soon...
will b 2 prelims n 2 o' levels...
haiz...
dunno whether i will b able 2 concentrate on my studies...
really should make myself very very busy right?...
so tat i wun think of all e nonsense stuff...

been reflecting a lot...
i really hav been slacking...
haiz...
wanna buck up...
but...
its easy 2 say, difficult 2 do...
everybody also noes tat...
hmmm...

how long hav i noe him liao?
1 year n 4 months le...
say long not long...
short not short...
hahaz...
when did i started liking him?
i also not sure...
but den think till now quite long liao wor...
dragging 4 so long...
when is it gonna end?
sianz...
miss ya....

2005-07-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

haiz...
homework getting more n more each day...
actually quite regreted being so slack last year n early part of e year...
now if wanna catch up...
muz put in more effort...
sianz...
wondering whether i am able 2 work hard after all...
juz feel like tearing up all my books... ...

2dae he was workin at bishan...
but den me didn't go dere...
think i better not go dere ba...
go dere also dunno wad 2 say or do...
so damn fan...
miss him sia...
haiz...
but den...
also cannot do anythin...

gonna go finish up a bit of hw ba...
i guess...
hmmm...

2005-07-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

2dae...
went 2 see him again lor...
well...
wad else could i do besides tat?
was feelin more n more sian...
haiz...
juz couldn't bring myself 2 forget him...

got tons of sch work still haven finish...
juz manage 2 do a bit...
think tmr shouldn't go 2 see him liao...
muz disappear 4 a little while ba...
it would b better 2 wait 4 him 2 msg me....

sometimes i would think...
do him miss me as much as i do?
i guess not ba...
dunno....
been pondering...
wad happens if i disappear totally?
would he search 4 me?
hahaz...
it would b fun 2 try i guess...
see how much i mean 2 him...

haiz...
guess i shouldn't think so much liao...
should b goin 2 slp...
n b ready 4 lesson tmr =)
Cya

2005-07-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

nowadays...
been slping rather late...
so now a bit not feelin well liao...
hahaz...
my own fault anyway...

nowadays getting more n more stressful...
argh...
more n more sch work...
oh man...
it really sux isn't it?
i noe...
e teachers r concern...
but den almost everyday also got remedial...

hello?
do anybody noe we all got higher chinese lesson?
its very fed up when dey r at sch learning..
den we at ang mo kio sec almost bored 2 death...
it would b better if we can pon higher chinese lor...

2dae mood dunno how 2 say...
rather mix also...
but den...
was rather happi cos i went out wif somebody...
if everyday also liddat i would b very happi liao...
hmmm....
ya...
i like 2 keep things simple...
=)

2005-07-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

quite a while nv blog in liao wor...
sry 2 ppl who hav been visiting my blog regularly...
been very busy ba....

sch reopen liao...
go so so so many things 2 do....
haiz....
so stress right...
so fan also...
juz wanna scream my head off...

i went 2 someplace 2dae...
haiz...
went 2 see him cos he sick...
but den...
didn't even get e chance 2 see him...
haiz...
fated i guess...

feeling very upset...
saw wad i didn't wanna saw...
dun think is his fault...
haiz...
but den should hav told me earlier right?
den i wun waste my time liao...
arghhhh....

2005-06-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm...

now i really seem 2 hav controlled my feelings damn well...

juz quarrel wif somebody...

miraculously... i didn't shed a single tear...

mayb its gonna end this way...

gd 4 me?

dunno...

haiz...

wondering...

wad was wrong wif me?

hav i become stronger....

nah...

fat hope...

juz dun wanna 2 b seen as weak ba...

i guess....

shit man...

tmr got tons n tons of hw haven finish...

tmr gonna b slaughter...

lolz...

2005-06-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

now feeling very fan...

haiz...

y e person msg can affect me so much...

i dun even understand...

now doin bio...

oh man...

stupid teacher lor...

broke her promise AGAIN...

say actually wanna help us de...

but den now...

where e hell is she man...

sianz...

dun say i bias lor...

e fact is tat she really nv keep her promises de...

would anybody like her?...

dun think so ba...

2005-06-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

haiz... sch gonna reopen liao wor... n i haven even finish my homework... feel like i really wasted e whole of my june hols... slacking... rotting at home... its really a waste of time... oh man... if i hav gone 2 work... mayb i would still hav some extra money u noe... haiz...

now... feeling very moodless -_- ... think i can really sorta control my tears.. gd in a way ba.... dunno...

hmmm... my bro back from army on fri... gonna go back on sun le... gonna miss him again liao... still not really used 2 looking at him botak.. lolz... but still look ok la...

gonna slp pretty soon... hopefully i can slp.. -_- ....

2005-06-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

woohoo... so happy 2dae... hahaz... spent half a day at pasr ris dere... had a bbq at dere... although not many ppl came... it was rather fun... was a relieve tat i didn't quarrel wif my friend liao... was able 2 talk 2 her finally 2dae =)

hmm.... even though i didn't really talk a lot n only stay ard dere bbq.. its was quite happy 4 me liao... at least i dun hav 2 think abt certain stuffs... hmmm... was rather peaceful i guess.... somemore cx dey was really crappy n very lame also... i laugh a lot 2dae... hahaz.....

at night was more fun... lolz... went crazy n go drank heiniken... hahaz... didin't really drink a lot ba i guess... i wasn't even very groggy... juz felt tat my head was a little heavy.... hmmm... it would b gd 2 get drunk right? den i can forget abt certain stuffs..

hopefully will hav another chance like this... lolz... spend my day quite meaningfully 2dae...

2005-06-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

now i also dunno how 2 describe my feelings... haiz... confused? sad? troubled? angry? i really dunno.... mixture ba... weird right... since when did i noe how 2 controlled my tears?... dunno... juz? hahaz... i guess i got 2 b stronger... so tat i wun get bullied... hmmm...

2dae wasted 1 whole day of time as well... haiz... dunno y i am so damn slack... ... everybody is like so concern 4 me... yet i disappointed dem again n again... i really had no sense of urgency... so fan... really feel like screaming.......... 2 vent out all my frustrations....

sometimes i will think... wil he ever understand him? i guess not really ba... i also can't understand him leh... haiz... fated 2 b like this? i dunno... but i dun wish 2... if only... ... haiz....

tmr got maths lesson... haiz... think wun b able 2 catch up wor... ... cos tat time teach finish e whole chap n i didn't attend e lesson... think i will b blur blur tmr...

recently read quite an interesting bk called "life strategies for teens"... hmmm... all i can say is it is indeed a rather gd bk... yup... e things it said were all pretty true... if i can apply it.. i guess my life would really change 4 e better ba... hope so... but den.. dun think i will... cos... i'm a failure... lolz...

2005-06-22T02:10:00.000+08:00

2dae overslept... den reach sch at 9 liddat... so miss e whole a maths lesson... die liao lor... 2dae teachin new chapter wor... vectors... haiz... den miss e lesson... went 2 sch den find out mr tan in 1 lesson teach finish le... die... hav 2 study by myself le wor... so fan... den still got lotsa homework haven do... haiz...

sometimes i do wonder am i in denial of my life? am i a failure?... sux men... so sian... luckily recently make a new friend who was rather nice 2 entertain me when i can't slp.. thanks a lot... really appreciate it... but den.. looks like i hav 2 get out of this mess on my own liao... should i consider it 2 b a mess? dunno... juz feelin vex... think i should learn how 2 control my emotions better...

sometimes feel like i am a tap... so easily will cry de... dunno y... haiz.... i do wonder... wad happens when i die? will ppl rmb me 4 life? or as times goes by... dey will juz forget me... hmmm... guess i dun leave much of a deep impression 2 ppl izzit? hmmm.... hope not ba...

tats all... =)

2005-06-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

2dae not in gd mood 2 blog in... sianz... think tmr den write more.... bye...

2005-06-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

guess wad... me went 4 flag selling 2dae wor... hahaz... its 4 e Ju Eng Home de... we all volunteer 4 it de... hmmm... nobody would do tat right... hahaz... think we all nth better 2 do ba... den hang ard at orchard dere till 3+ den went hm... well... actually wanna go watch movie de... but den my friends all broke n rather tired liao... all wanna go hm rest... lolz... den i also dun hav much money ma... so went hm as well...

nowadays dunno y can't slp easily... haiz... hav 2 take a rather long time 2 fall aslp... drinking 2 much tea?
perhaps ba... dunno.... lol...

few days ago had a very nice dream... it seem so real sia... lol... so sweet... hahaz... but den it wun happen in real life... so.. was wondering.... if i nv wake up... hmmm... i would die smiling wor... gd? dunno... mayb ba... well.. if u can die happily... y not?

den recently, feel like dreaming tat dream again... since in real life wun happen... hopefully in dreams can ba... hahaz... well.. better than nth right? lolz...

tats it 4 2dae =)

2005-06-14T00:57:00.000+08:00

nowadays been very bored at home... nv go out... so damn sian sia... haiz... so fan... dunno whether e things he say ytd was true or not... anyway doesn't matter much i guess... does it? haiz... i really very tired liao lor... juz as well... wun b seeing him 4 quite a while also... got time 2 sort out my thinking...

will things change if he noe wad i really thinkin? haiz... dun think so ba... it doesn't really change much ba... i guess... sometimes i really thought tat i can forget him... but... haiz.. guess i need more time.... sianz....

recently... seems like i am talking less n less sia... its so unlike me... hmmm.... mayb when sch reopens i wun noe how 2 b chatty n lame liao... lolz... will i? dunno... hmmm... we shall see lor...

tats it liao.. nowadays also not much things goin on in my life.... haiz...

2005-06-11T01:44:00.000+08:00

2dae was another boring day 4 me sia... go 4 breakfast wif janine, grace n steph... den after tat den went 2 janine hse 2 see e others doin e chem n bio project... its was rather boring sia cos i not doin e project wif dem de... i only sat dere n watch den do project, hang ard, read comics... lolz... well... its at least better than staying at home n rot right?

den went home at ard 5... nth much 2 do... so watch tv instead... all e way till 10... e 9 o clock show 2dae last episode... e ending was nice... e show was pretty gd.. hmmm... story line was interesting... wonder who came up wif e idea...

after tat actually wanna watch guess 3 de.. but den in e end decided not 2... cos my kor kor not wif me ma... somehow.. feels different watchin without him... oh man.. it feels rather weird... sian ar... he only gone 4 2 days i already so bored... he 2 weeks den will b back... i gonna rot liao... hahaz...

tats all 4 2dae... hmmm...

2005-06-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... guess where i went 2 2dae... pulau tekong wor... lol... cos my kor kor goin army... den dey goin dere training first... den our whole family went in 2 visit as well.. go see wad kind of environment dey all live in... it was rather fun goin dere 2 see... we take a boat dere...

hmmm... at dere it was damn windy.. dunno y... hahaz.. but was rather nice.. except tat e hair was messy cos of e wind... we even get 2 hav dinner wif my kor kor... lol...

well... actually hor, i think nowadays e guys goin in 4 army is quite well taken care of le... dey hav a cupboard all 2 demself... den e room dey live in well ventilated also ma... somemore e food dere also nt bad.. lol... think other than e training which is very tough... hmmm... my mother no need 2 worry 2 much ba..

think i gonna miss my kor kor a lot sia.... haiz... now is june hols lor.. me n him same room slping de.. den he not ard.. nobody call me watch tv.. nobody tell me go slp early.. nobody tokin 2 me abt movie, games n comic stuffs.. it will b so sian lor... haiz... luckily he still will b comin back once in a while... lol.. but den it really feels weird without him.. haiz...

now already missing him liao.. wonder how am i gonna spend e 2weeks by myself... haiz... somemore somebdy elso also go 4 reservice... haiz... so sian sia...

haiz... somemore ytd dunno y suddenly quarrel wif ppl... haiz... guess i wasn't such a gd friend after all... no wonder i also dun hav many friends... sian... i can't help her.. only make her upset n angry... tell me wad i should do? haiz... i really dunno lor...

suddenly feel so lonely... hmmm...

2005-06-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

these few days so sad sia.. mouth got 2 ulcer... one on tongue, haiz... can't eat much or properly... oh man... think can slim down liao... hahaz... but den its really so damn pain lor... haiz... dunno how long will i take 2 recover sia.... sianz...

2dae went 4 social studies in e mornin... sian lor... den dunno y 2dae ba ge suddenly went crazy... shouted 'shut up n put ya legs down' 2 step... siao de... like got mood swing.. scary... step so poor thing.... everybody was also tokin ma... y only scold her..? hahaz... think step was really unlucky 2dae...

after tat went straight home... at home so sian lor... den keeping on watchin vcds... awww... boring.. lol..

got time i will blog again... chaoz =)

2005-06-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

sorry 4 not updating my blog reguarly wor... been bz lately.. or was it lazy? lolz.. now is already pass one week of june hols liao... n i haven even done a single bit of work... very very slack right? hahaz... dunno leh... really no mood sia.. somemore now i a bit sick... haiz... keep finding excuses 4 myself man 4 nt doing hw... haiz...

results were pretty bad... well... overall all subjects pass... but den... compare 2 my pass results n my 'suppose' target score... its still a longway 2 go... haiz...

at times.. do u all wonder whether wad u all hav been doing is e right thing or not? sometimes... ya mind tell u is wrong.. but den... e heart dun really follows e mind... do u all hav tat kind of feeling? haiz.... sometimes... i really wish tat i can't differentiate wad is right n wad is wrong... perhaps i would b happier this way.. dun u think so? 4 instant, if wad i did wrong.. i wun noe n it wun hurt... right? lolz.... mayb ba..

i dun think anybody would get stuck in e same situation as me ba... if only i can completely forget everything... but would i b happier? i really dunno.... but den.. i hav also gain a little... hmm.... hav i been happier or dere is more unhappiness after noeing him? think both can balance quite well wor... hahaz....

ppl r always telling me dun think so much.. but den.. its really easy 2 say n difficult 2 do... u all also noe tat ma... nowadays quite gd liao... got vcds 2 pei me through e day... so i wun think so much.. its a gd way 2 spend time 2.. hahaz...

hope 2 blog in again pretty soon... cya =)

2005-05-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

2dae got back a couple of papers... e grades sux man... i should hav study a bit more.... haiz... but wad e used of sayin it nw? dunno y feels very weird 2 dae when i saw my marks... it was lousy... but somehow, didn't really get very very sad abt it... e feeling was damn weird.. dunno how 2 describe ba... mayb was bcos i noe i deserve 2 get tat kind of results ba...(was it?) hmmm... really had no idea... somehow... couldn't find e right mood 2 cry abt it... weird... think i was more sad abt something else ba... mayb... something was wrong... i juz couldn't pinpoint... haiz....

this was my results....

english 63%
e-maths 63.75%
a-maths 65%
social studies 38%
physics 47.5%
biology 48%

think tats all liao... e rest.... still haven get back... think at this rate i'm going... my sciences is all going in2 e drain le... sian... hopefully practical can pull it 2 a passing grade ba...

ptm on fri... haiz.... it really sux.... dunno wad e teacher is gonna say abt my results... my dad also seem 2 dun care abt it liao... keep on sayin tat after exam go poly... den straight away go work le... no need 2 study anymore...

wad should i do? somehow.... no motivation 2 study hard.. haiz...

2dae at sch was damn boring... cos dey all hav intensive chinese 4 abt 3 hours liddat... den me higher chinese de... no need go ava... anyway even we go dere, teacher also shoo us out... end up wif dunno wad 2 do... so damn sian... e sch sux lor... y couldn't we juz go hm?? y do we hav 2 stay in sch? its a total waste of time... its nt as if by keeping us in sch we would study n revise.... imagine 3 whole hours wif nth 2 do in e sch... its was BORING... lolz...

think end here le ba... will b blogging again soon... cos recently... 2 free.... nth much 2 do it seems... =)

2005-05-22T03:24:00.000+08:00

yo... finally exams r over liao... but den.. dunno y feel like suddenly dunno wad 2 do... haiz... no money.. can't go out... den... no exam.. so no need 2 study ma... idle ard e hse whole day... sianz...

hav a feeling i will get bad results 4 this mid year... think most probably ba... nt in e mind 2 study, how can achieve gd results?? this mid very scared will fail a couple of subjects... but den, paper already done liao, its already marked... so... no point pondering 2 much over it ba... oh man... but think i gonna die during ptm... dunno wad rama gonna say 2 my dad le...

hav u ever wonder wads e point of studying so much 4?

i do wonder at times...
well... its nt really worth it lor...
u can't bring e money u earn 2 ya coffin right? lolz...
somemore, u might nt hav 2 study so much in order 2 earn lotsa money...
dere r other ways...
hmmm... dere r ppl out dere who wanna b doctor, lawyers.. tats y dey study so hard right? but den hor... so wad if u r a doctor? lawyer?
so wad if u hav a lot of money...
dere r still things money can't buy right?...

i'm nt saying doc or lawyer nt gd.... its juz tat.... will u really b happy fuifilling all ya dreams? den will dere b 1 day where u will b totally satisfy wif wad u hav? hmmm.... dunno....

hmmm.... 2dae went 2 pei him again... looking at him... i always wanna noe(wad izzit goin on in ya head? wad r u thinkin right nw?) think only he himself noes e answer... at times... i really wonder.... is he happy nw? he dun look happy 2 me... hmmm.... heard him say 2dae:"day past day, dunno wad i'm doin...) doesn't sound happy right? he has everything he wan liao... y is he still nt happy? wad can i do 2 help him.. haiz... i really dunno... juz dun wish 2 see him liddat ba...

if only things were simple...... hmmm......

2005-05-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

yo ppl... hahaz... so long nv blog in liaoz... heez... me am a very lazy person ma... tats y... lolz... mid year exam startin soon... me still haven study wor... somehow still dun feel like exam is comin.. dunno y... mayb next week den i will start 2 panic... lol... this year is my last year of secondary sch liao (hope so) (dun think i will wanna stay another in e sch)... really wish 2 get gd grades... hmmm... but den, me so lazy... dunno when den i wil start 2 put in real effort in my sch work...

this year parent meeting teacher session... will b a special 1.. crazy right? see all e subjects teachers 4 wad? hmmm... if we ownself dun wanna study.. no matter how u force us or wad u tell our parents wun make much difference de... even if we change 4 e better is only bcos its 4 e sake of our parents as we dun wan our parents 2 breathe under our neck in everything tat we do... e decision still lies wif us... sometimes i dun even noe y we need 2 study so many subjects... its nt as if dere is a need 2 it lor... parents say tat is 4 our future... 2 study... but den... do dey ever really think of wad we wan? wad we need? i noe... study is 4 us 2 get a better job... but hor... when u die.. u can't really bring anythin away ma.. can't bring ya whole life's education, can't bring money.. so.. wads e point of studying??? lolz...

time flies... now in may le... very soon... wil b june hols... haiz.. got holiday like no holiday liddat... still hav 2 go sch 4 lesson... sianz....

2005-04-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

quite a few weeks nv blog in le... haiz... me really hav a pathetic life sia... dun really wish 2 talk abt it le... sianz...

oh ya... ppl... me off my hp recently... suddenly dun feel like using it... anythin 2 call me, call my hse phone or talk 2 me at msn...

tats all... got time i will write more = (

2005-04-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... it was april fool ytd... dunno y it doesn't seem like it... hmmm... didn't really see any1 playin prank... it juz seem like any other day...

2dae me woke up at ard 11+.... den had my lunch n watch vcd... after tat, went back 2 slp again cos dun feel like doin hw... hahaz... at ard 6+ went out... go find mac... hmmm... after tat went 2 see somebody as well... haiz... am i very foolish? ? ? still go dere n see him... dere is nth much i can do anyway... wads wif me? sometimes... i really dunno wad 2 do... miss him... haiz.... still dunno wad 2 buy 4 him sia... argh... headache man....

den came hm very late... heez... funny hor... me didn't really get scolded... is tat gd? hahaz... dunno...

mac arh mac... u hav e mouth 2 say me nv say yaself... but den, think i in a worser state arh... hmmm....................

2005-03-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

hmmm... so late le... 2dae was another boring day 4 me... so sian in cls... haiz... somemore during ss lesson got scolded by ba ge again... kaoz man... nv go her lesson hav 2 copy 5 pages from ss textbk... dunno is she maths fail or wad... we had 2 copy from pg 64 to 70 = ( is tat 5 pages? lolz.... hmmm... her lesson so important meh? somemore is after sch liao... still hav 2 go 4 her stupid lesson arh? in e end... me lazy go hm copy, stayed in sch till 5 to copy her stupid thing n do some hw...

hmmm... wondering wad he is doin right nw? got think of me? haiz... y did he hav 2 say all tat? den tell me it was all nonsense???... me very tired le, both physical n emotionally... haiz... den wad he expect me 2 say n do... sometimes... dun really noe wad e hell he thinkin... he looks as if nth ever happen at all... wads wrong wif his brain anyway? hmmm... i rather i dunno anythin... at times, i thought of this question:"wad if i nv went 2 work in e first place?" would i b happier nw?... would my life b more peaceful... i really dunno... even myself can't answer this stupid question... juz hope tat in time 2 come.. i can forget all this... if can't forget... should i pretend tat it nv happens? nobody can help me except myself... i noe tat... but, do i hav e will 2 do it? haiz.. juz hoping 2 get back 2 normal again... argh.. y m i always so weak? always getting affected by every word he says ='(

haiz... tell n ask piggy, even piggy also it an obvious answer, say i siao... izzit really an obvious answer?... am i siao? i dun think so... its e heart tat is, nt me... haiz... wad should i do? can anybody tell me?

this is in hanyu pinyin... nvm if u guys dun understand... its 4 me 2 noe n 4 u 2 find out...
zhen de zhen de hao na guo... xian zai hao xiang ku... ='( wei shen me ren zong shi na mo mao dun? shi shi hou zuo ge liao jie le ba... wo shi bu shi hen sha? ze me yi zhi deng xia qu... hui you jie guo ma? mei ren zhi dao... ta da gai ye bu dong, ye xu yong yuan ye bu hui ming bai wo zai xiang shen me...

hmmm... very long le... guess i should stop here n get back 2 my hw le... otherwise tml can't wake up on time... Cya...

2005-03-27T03:09:00.000+08:00

hey ppl... quite a few days nv blog in le... been quite lazy lately... me 2dae spent most of time slping n lazing ard... hahaz... dun really wanna do hw... mayb in e mornin den do ba...

haiz... y r feelings so hard 2 control? izzit ppl at my age r more prone 2 this? hmmm.... dunno leh... but some of my friends r getting all e luv problems.... haiz... sometimes... seeing dem feel sad make me think back a lot... lookin back at e decisions i made... which is right n which is wrong? i also dunno... did it make me happy? well... nt exactly, but at least i dun feel so upset abt it...

haiz... at times, b/c of wad we r... we tend 2 miss certain things or nt daring 2 do it... sometimes... if u were somebody else... were u hav made e decision in another way? hmmm, it makes me wonder.... e so call 'fate'... does it really exists? if we miss it... does tat mean tat it will nv come back again? we dun really hav e answer right?

wad is luv? nobody can really give me e answer i guess... ppl hav different defintions of luv...

izzit foreva? hmmm... i dunno... sure hope 2 find e answer (heez)....

below is a song by stefanie sun, hope u guys like it...

..:: 我也很想他 ::..

那时我们总有好多话什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早却一直放在心上

后来你们之间的变化我不想再多说话
经过了相遇和挣扎我还是无法将他放下

那是多久后的事了有一天你突然问
我在那个时候是否也爱着他

我也很想他我们都一样在他的身上
曾找到翅膀只是那时的他是因为你他开始飞翔

我也很想他在某个地方我少了尴尬你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短思念却很长

还记得那年我们三个许下的愿望
星星骗了我们我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分

我们都一样

haiz....

2005-03-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

Yo, me juz reach hm nt so long ago... sian arh... tml got a-maths test.. haiz... got lotsa hw haven finish... tml die le larh... how 2 take test? heez... sch was quite ok 2dae... cos sch mission ma (talk abt sexuality stuffs -__-"')... nt much lesson... it will b gd if everyday was liddat... but tat is impossible lar... hahaz... but den hor... e speaker hor... haiz... actually it was quite an interesting topic but den he made it seem like quite a dead 1... nt tat fun after all... but den no need 2 hav lesson in cls... lolz...

hmmm... mac arh... at times, sometimes i wish i was like u... cos u noe it is impossible.. so u can try n 4get it... 4 me... its quite difficult... u should noe wad i mean larh...

tats abt it 4 2dae...

2005-03-20T03:59:00.000+08:00

Yo ppl! me finally starting 2 write again... hmmm, nw using blogspot le... izzit a new beginning 4 me? sure hope so ba... gonna reach e end of march hols soon le, i still got damn lotsa of hw haven finish... when sch reopen really gonna die... dunno how am i gonna finish all e hw... argh....

this is a song by blink 182, which i really like... hmmm, dunno y me always like e sad sad song... lolz...

I MISS YOU

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

the shadow in the background of the morgue

the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley

we can live like Jack and Sally if we want

where you can always find me

we'll have Halloween on Christmas

and in the night we'll wish this never ends

we'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep,

I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

this sick strange darkness

comes creeping on so haunting every time

and as I stared I counted

webs from all the spiders

catching things and eating their insides

like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

will you come home and stop this pain tonight

stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already